People do not typically wake up one day and just decide that they want a divorce. Instead, they contemplate it, sometimes for months or years. They go through the stages of grief – denial, and anger, and then they reach acceptance. It is about this time that one might wonder when and how to tell their spouse about their plans to divorce. These are the beginning stages of the process. Learn more about them, including how to break the news to your spouse, with help from the following.

When Only One Party Wants a Divorce

While divorce can be a mutual decision, it often starts out as one-sided – meaning one party decides they want a divorce but the other is oblivious (and may not even be aware that their partner is unhappy). In these situations, the party that is desiring the divorce should speak clearly and plainly – and preferably as soon as possible. Waiting only hinders the divorce process, and may even cause unnecessary delay.

When the Marriage is Contentious

Not every spouse is in the dark. Some know that divorce may be on the way; they can feel it in the tense conversations, the lack of touch, or absence of intimacy. However, they may not have reached the breaking point themselves. In these situations, it may be easiest to simply state the facts: the marriage has not been happy for some time, and both parties may be better off apart.

Tips for Talking to Your Spouse

If you are the party wanting a divorce, it is important that you remember you once loved your spouse. Treat them with the same amount of compassion and care as you would want if the shoe was on the other foot. Do not blame, use feeling statements, and do not offer false hope unless you are truly willing to work things out. Then, as your spouse processes the information, give them time, space, and support. Also, be sure to keep in mind that they may be just beginning the grief process, while you are likely further along, and perhaps even excited about moving forward with your new life.

Contact Our San Jose Divorce Lawyers

Whether you are just exploring your options, or are ready to move forward with a divorce, Dominion Law Group, LLP is the firm to call. Dedicated and experienced, our San Jose divorce lawyers can examine your situation, inform you of your options, and help you prepare for the future. If necessary, we can also aggressively represent your interests during a contentious or litigated divorce. Learn more about how we can assist with your case by scheduling a personalized consultation. Call our offices at 408-288-5592 today.



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