The process of filing for divorce is a very difficult one, and nobody is exempt from the emotional hardships. Each spouse has to deal with his or her emotions during this trying time and their children can be greatly affected as well. Depending on the age of the child at the time of divorce, he or she may cope with the emotional stress in a different manner. When children are involved in the divorce process, it is important to understand how to effectively communicate with them, so that they do not blame themselves for the divorce.

  • Babies and Toddlers. When a married couple files for divorce when their child is very young, he or she may have no recollection of the divorce process as there is no ability to understand the complexity of events, future situations, or feelings. They are completely dependent on both parents, so each parent should do their part and comfort their child when needed.

  • Preschoolers. Preschoolers are still dependent on their parents. They have a better understanding of the world, but they do not have much ability to understand future events as of yet. They cannot quite differentiate between fantasy and reality, and they can start thinking about their own feelings now.

  • Children 6-8 Years Old. Children at this age can better explain how and what they are feeling, but they still have a lack of understanding of complex issues. At this age, they start to develop relationships outside of the home, as they are beginning school.

  • Children 9-11 Years Old. Children at this age can start thinking and talking about some complex issues, such as divorce. They have more developed relationships outside of the home, and they may feel as if they can speak with someone if they were hurt. As the child’s brain and thought processes are developing, they may start seeing things in black and white and may start placing blame on either parent for the divorce.

  • Children 12-14 Years Old. Children at this age have a much greater capacity to understand complex issues and situations, and they can discuss and ask questions regarding such issues. They long for independence at this age, and they are starting to question the authority of their parents. They place a strong value on relationships and will decide who to spend time with. Depending on  the child, he or she may place blame on either parent for the divorce.

Contact a San Jose Divorce Attorney

Divorce is never easy, but positively coping through this difficult time can make life much easier for both spouses and their children. If you find yourself filing for divorce, you can count on effective legal representation. At Dominion Law Group, LLP, we have over 28 years of experience representing our clients in family law and divorce matters. With our vast knowledge of divorce law, we understand how difficult the filing process is, and we will guide you through the steps you need to take to ensure an easier experience. For a free initial consultation, please call a Santa Clara County divorce lawyer at 408-288-5592 to get the help you deserve.


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